Saturday, March 15, 2008

Attention: Virus Alert

A virus is spreading and how. Already 60 million of computers have been affected; albeit unknowingly!!!!!!!

PLEASE BE VERY CAREFUL: I, a victim, am writing this message today, though they launched the virus almost a year back.

This virus spreads itself by luring the customer with its redesigned user interface and visual style. It promises of enhanced security and safety like never before. The virus is so advanced that it has segmented its customers and spreads in various editions keeping in mind the profile of its host. Indeed, it has "Long Horns" to kill your system. It inserts those sharp horns in to your system resources and render you at its mercy.The most common modus operandi of this virus is to ship itself with new computers!!!! The customer is unaware of the fact that he is buying an infected machine. While some vigilant customers are aware of this and refrain from buying new machines infected with this deadly virus, but there is little choice. That is the nexus this virus has built for itself.

And it doesn't stop here. if you think that the maximum damage this virus will do is to push you to format your hard disk and start all over again. Simple, isn't it?. But only if it was that simple. The virus will load again, disguising as the the most secured and advanced OS, and this time you will be installing it with your own mouse clicks.

That is when you realize "The Matrix" in which you are hopelessly stuck. You can get out of it, by degrading (in fact it would actually be upgrading) to previous versions or better, opting for others. But it takes some one like "The One" to get out of this illusion of the matrix. Many (which includes yours truly) still succumb to the baneful virus. Slowly, starting to live with the virus. Slowly, getting adapted to its vagaries which it brings along. Slowly, getting used to its sluggishness. Slowly, getting adjusted to its annoyance.

It's most likely that while you are reading this, the virus might be regaling in your system. Hogging on to precious resources such as RAM and CPU time. And if you have still not figured out the virus - its very much possible as you might be hopelessly hooked on it - it is popularly known as Vista.



(To give you some perspective, I have a laptop with vista home premium pre installed. The OS is nothing but flimsy. And did I tell you that I had to format my 250 gig loaded hdd recently because of some incompatible vista update downloaded automatically!!!!!!!!! )


Nirav said...


From the first para, I knew this was so kinda joke, but I was expecting the "virus" to be a smiley.

What you had was even better ;-)


Neo said...

@nirav - i thought you will be the one who wud get it from the start.

Hiren said...

victim of the vista ... lol ... koi nahi dost ... manushya apni galtiyon se hi sikhta hai .... think it as a scarifice that you have gone thru in order to protect ur friends from facing this traumatic vista virus ...

btw hope that the "Bhavesh" folder has not been lost due to format ;)

Neo said...

@hiren - the hidden motive of this post to earn good karma. but till the time we can our saviour, we are doomed with vista

and Bhavesh's folder is with BHAVESH :)))))))

annoyingdumb said...

"Windows"..If they surveyed the most talked about things over last few decades I believe it would be somewhere in top 5. Bill Gate's ambitious project, exceedingly hyped and marketed...delayed for years before releasing..crahed on the day of first ever demonstration ....brought billions to Bill Gates making him target of anti-Capitalists ...earning ire of pro-UNIX lobby...sparked search for alternatives...gave boost to open-source community that saw rise of LINUX in following years....complicated upgrades one after the other till Vista ... and that dreaded blue screen earning a Windows a reputation of "Virus"...
To its credit Windows transformed a computer to a PC. It brought computer from high profile reseach labs to Average Joe's living room.
But then before we realised I think we have reached to an age where we take technolgy for granted. My mobile phone should be runing all day long without any call drops and playing all my videos while I am running on treadmill at 10 miles per hour. My OS must not hang or crash even if I do not reboot my PC for 1 year.
Who set these expectations? How do we know that Windows "must" be better than what it is today?
...we are still long way from that perfect techno world where things are optimum and perfect. For now nothing works out of the box for sure. Then they have those help desks and call centres. They can fix you anything. Only thing they dont understand English. Neither Hindi. Nor any language you know. But Micrsoft is training them. They are teaching them ".Net". Only when .Net sounds like English your problems will be solved. Till then good luck.

Well written blog. Good sarcasm from an anguished Windows user. As I read the first line I knew where is it going but I enjoyed it till end. I read your other blogs as well. Your blogging skills have come off the age. kudos...


Neo said...

@AD - your comment is as good as a post phew!!!!!
nice point made at raised expectations but the fact is vista even falls flat on the expectations set by xp.

keep coming back