Every Blog Speaks

While a blogger speaks his mind through a blog, every blog has a lot to say. This is what my blog says currently

What is your blog speaking? Hear it here.

listening,
Neo.
Thanks Gaizabonts

My Space is Our Space

My Space is now going to be shared by my fellow mates who want to voice their opinions, share joy,grieve hurt,give advice,or just want to express themselves. I will be posting notes written by my near and dear ones and also invite others to share their experiences.

Starting tomorrow, you can share and touch others lives.

excited,

Neo

Where Google gets all the Hard Drive Space from?

Found this pic which revels the secret of Google's mighty storage space ;)




Follow up the link to read on how Google is marginally revolutionizing the digital world and business all over.


amazed,
Neo

The Philosophy of Stock Market

Got this mail - good logic.

smiles,
Viral

Once upon a time, in a village a man appeared who announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs. 10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys went out in the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at 10 and as supply started to diminish and villagers started to stop their effort he announced that now he would buy at 20 rupees. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms

The offer rate increased to 25 and the supply of monkeys became so that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business his assistant would now buy on behalf of the man.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at 35 and when the man comes back, you can sell it to him for 50.

The villager squeezed up with all their saving to buy the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!!!!!!!

Y Google Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This one is too good !!! (got a mail)

Reason Google is the best search engine.

Its not only fast, its accurate and shows only truth.

1.Open Google Site [ http://www.google.com ]
2.Type 'Failure'
3.See what is the Very First Match !

I know you are rolling with laughter.

smiles,
Neo.

FutureMe

Want to let ull know about this interesting site which I have been using for almost a year.

its known as FutureMe...URL www.futureme.org.

The function of this site is quite simple. It lets you write emails into the Future!!!!!!!

Amazed!!!!!! Let me explain. You need to create an account with an email id. Then just write an email to a future date and it will be delivered to your email id on that future date.

Best to write your one year goals and then actually see how much have you achieved.

One more way I use this service is write a mail when I am too anxious/worried about a particular thing. It kinda relaxes you and infact when you get the mail after months/year(s), you will be amazed at the kind of worry you had for such a trivial thing.

Worth trying...take my word for it!!!!!!!!!!!

futuristic ;)
Neo

Tag Board

Hey Guys,

I have put a Tag Board on my blog( the one on the right side below my profile). Its kinda forum thing but very easy and fast to post.

So jus put ur views ,thoughts and ne thing u want to write on the tag board.

Do you Su Doku?

I am being slowly addicted to Su dokus, so much so that The Times group had organised a Su doku competition and I actually went there on a lazy Sunday morning. And to my surprise many fellow gujjus also landed up ;0)

But believe me, this craze has taken of like a wild forest fire. Hordes of people turned up for the competiton. It was fun. I managed to crack the puzzle but took more time than the three top times.

Times of India sensing it early on this rising trend and making a smart marketing move. Not surprisingly it’s the no.1 player in its domain.

Su Doku

My lastest craze is not a new book i have read or a new idea but a puzzle - Su Doku.

Sudoku is the number placing game taking the world by storm. It originated from japan or china many years ago but have caught the worlds attention in recent times. UK newspaper were the first to publish it and now u can find it in every newspaper.Its the next big thing after crosswords.

The rules of Sudoku are simple. Enter digits from 1 to 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit. So must every column, as must every 3x3 square.

Each Sudoku has a unique solution that can be reached logically without guessing.

I have found out on the net - There are 6670903752021072936960 possible su dokus which will have a unique solution and are solvable !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jus try one and u will never be the same again.No one can solve jus one ;)

Memoirs of an MBA............

Memoirs of an MBA...
July 26
Dear Diary,

I can't hold myself down. My FIRST day on the job!! And I like it
already. "Assistant Junior Deputy to the Vice Chairman -
Manufacturing". My dad was thrilled when he heard my designation.
"What the f!@#!!!" was his exact words. Oh I love it when my parents
are happy...

Need to meet HR in half an hour. I cant wait to get my first Employee
ID Card and cubicle. I hope Parthasarathy Whatayblouse Crappers is the
beginning of great things.

P.S. I have brought my favorite textbooks back from the insti. OD, OM
and HR should help me grow rapidly in the organization. And I WILL
handle soft issues before facing hard issues here at PWC.


July 28th
Dear Diary,

Had a lot of fun with HR yesterday. The guy who had recruited me had
left a month ago. So they didnt know I was joining. We had a hearty
laugh over that one.

I'll get my cubicle in a few days time. For the time being I am
sharing a nice one with Claire. She's with Corporate Communication.
The phone doesnt work though...


August 2nd
Dear Diary,

Met my boss today. He spend a lot of time with my CV and then asked me
how I managed to get a job with them. (Even he knows how lucky they
are to get me..) He told me to review our material ordering system in
the err... umm... the... the "big yellow and blue noisy machine
section" of the plant.

Claire is working on an "Our Employees Love Us" campaign. The office
boy had just resigned. So she got me to pose with an apron and a tray
of cookies for a photo. They are going to call me Ramon and use it for
ads. I am going to be famous.

August 7th
Dear Diary,

My first breakthrough. I have decided to order nickel ball bearings
using the EQO.. QEO... whatever formula. It takes into account item
cost, holding cost and weight of ball bearing I think. The purchase
guy gave me a funny look when he saw my annual requisition contract
form. He is obviously not an MBA...

Claire resigned today. She told me carry on with the "Our Employees
Love Us" campaign.

P.S. Lesson for the week. You cannot order 0.7564 of a ball bearing.
It has to be in whole numbers.


August 11th
Dear Diary,

I just got a shipment of 4384 ball bearings. I checked up with
Engineering. They said that should be enough for around 14 years of
requirement. I gave them 3 and stashed away the rest in a cupboard in
my room. If prices of ball bearings go up, I see a lot of potential
savings.

I have decided to develop informal channels of communication. From
tomorrow I will spend a little time next to the coffee machine to
understand the unspoken messages within the underbelly of the firm.
(That OD book is good)


August 14th
Dear Diary,

I sent my first official letter today. It was to our Facilities
manager Merry Le Bian. She is a hottie. I told her that the Coffee
Machine takes too much time to reheat between refills. Wrote it in a
WAC format and all with a table of contents and everything. She is
sure going to impressed!! I spell checked it in MS word and emailed it
to her an hour ago. No reply yet.

They scrapped the "Our Employees Love Us" campaign. The photo shoot
was taking up too much time, and people were being forced to stay late
without extra pay. Someone finally went and vandalised the banner. It
now reads "Our Employers Shove Us". I offered to model for all the
snaps and videos. They called me a dickhead. I was delighted. Dickhead
is internal slang for "Big Stud". HR told me. Everyone calls me that...

P.S. One more shipment of ball bearings came. Again 4384. The contract
can't be changed now. I dont have too much space left in my cupboard.


August 25th
Dear Diary,

My letter came back. It had a pink post-it on it from Merry. "Please
proofread" it said. It was CC'd to my boss. How was I supposed to know
MS Word would spell check her name and change it to Merry
Lesbian????!!!! Where's natural justice?

Today five minutes before a meeting the cupboard door broke open. It
took me ten minutes to pick up all the ball bearings from the floor. I
had to run to the board room for the meeting and slipped on a bearing
which rolled under the door. I fell on the coffee machine and tipped
coffee powder into the polymer mixing maching tray. Noone saw anything.

P.S. Sorry for the long break. My computer crashed. There was a mail
from an old friend. She's now married into the Welchia family I think.
Crashed after that. Strange name that Welchia...


September 2nd
Dear Diary,

My boss told me I may not last the probation period. I was mighty
thrilled to hear that. Imagine!! Permanent in less than three months!!
That should be some sort of company record.

I made a presentation to all the staff yesterday. Some 300 people were
there. I think I sent good vibes. Everyone was smiling and nodding
their heads during the presentation. Someone later told me my fly was
open the whole time. But I don't think anyone noticed. The
presentation was on "An Open Culture: Let the feeling show!!"


p.s. 17156 ball bearings. I floated a scheme to give each employee a
ball bearing for every year of service. The HR manager immediately
convened a meeting with my boss. Every suggestion counts here at PWC.

September 4th
Dear Diary,

I have been transferred to the office in Sub-Saharan Africa. I will be
heading the Room Heater and Hot Water Geyser products division. They
have also told me to pay for all the ball bearings I bought. I think
it speaks much of the entrepreneurial spirit. I have been told to
leave immediately for Kujumbinana.

P.S. A foreign posting in under a year!!!


September 5th
Dear Diary,

I am in Kujumbinana. We don't have a branch here.......

World Ideologies As Explained By Reference To Cows

World Ideologies As Explained By Reference To Cows

FEUDALISM
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give the other to your neighbour.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The Government takes both and shares the milk with you and your neighbour.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.


PERESTROIKA
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.

NAZI-ISM
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. You fill in 17 forms in triplicate and you don't have time to milk them.

BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You milk them and pour the lot down the drain to keep the price up.

CAPITALISM
You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.

APARTHEID: You have two cows. You give the black cow's milk to the white cow to drink and don't milk the white cow.

WELFARE STATE: You have two cows. You milk them and give them the milk to drink.

UNITED NATIONS: You have two cows. Russia vetoes the farmer from milking them. Britain and France veto the cows from milking the farmers. USA abstains.

PURE ANARCHY
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows shoot you and milk each other.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

OLYMPICS-ISM
You have two cows, one American, one Chinese. With the help of trilling violins and state-of-the-art montage photography, John Tesh narrates the moving tale of how the American cow overcame the agony of growing up in a suburb with (gasp) divorced parents, then mentions in passing that the Chinese cow was beaten every day by a tyrannical farmer and watched its parents butchered before its eyes. The American cow wins the competition, severely spraining an udder in a gritty performance, and gets a multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties. The Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by Chinese government officials, though no one ever hears about it. McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot and fast at its Beijing restaurant.

IDEALISM: You have two cows. You marry and your wife milks them.

REALISM: You have two cows. You get married and you still milk them.

COMMONSENSE: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Advaniism
You have two cows. You don't milk them. You worship them.

Chandrababuism
You have two cows in Vijayawada. You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad.

Jayalalithaism
You have two cows. You teach them to cry, "Ammaaaaaaa..." and fall at your feet.

Karunanidhiism

You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew.

Gandhism
You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

Indiraism
You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

Lalooism
You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattle-feed for them.

Rajnikantism
You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.

Rajivism
You have two cows. You paint them both to get colorful milk.

Vajpayeeism
You have two cows. You distribute the milk among your partners and eat cattle-feed.

Clintonism
You have two cows. But you milk your neighbors' cows.

Osamaism
You have two cows. You convert them into biological weapons.

Talibanism
You have two cows. You put them in purdah.

UN-ism
You have two cows. You don't milk them; you only lecture to them.

Softwarism:
Client has two cows and you need to milk them:
1. First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kickoff)
2. Prepare a document how long you have to milk them(Project plan)
3. Then prepare how to milk them(Design)
4. Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)
5. Then prepare two dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which you will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)
6. If client is not satisfied then redo step 2
7. You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories.(Change framework). Redo step 4
8. At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)
9. Make sure that cow milks properly (Testing)
10. Onsite reports that it is not milking there
11. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls
12. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
13. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
14. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk
15. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)
16. Again you slog and send it with good performance
17. Client is happy
18. But... By this time both the cows aged and can't milk


INFOSYSism
You have a thousand poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, and send them one at a time to the US for milking.

WIPROism
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

DELLism
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both and sell it as Cow's milk.

IBMism
You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to unsuspecting small businessmen.

MICROSOFTism
You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.

INTELism
Microsoft makes horse shoes. You nail them to your cows and wonder why they don't run fast.

SUNism
You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

SAPism
You don't have a cow. You sell milking solutions for cows implimented by milking consultants.

APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism
You have a cow. You spend 50 million dollars to develop the world's thinnest milk.

3Mism
You have a cow that gives 10 gallons of milk per day. You sell the manure as a "High-performance Agricultural Additive".

HPism
You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through Authorized Resellers only.

GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism
You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

CITIBANKism
Welcome to citibank. If you have a cow, press one. If you have a bull, press two....stay on the line if you would like our customer care officer to milk it for you...

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

INFOSYS ECONOMICS
You have 2 cows
You put both of them on the bench
And hire another to do the job.

TCS ìONOMICS
You have 2 cows
You tell them that only one will go to onsite.
You ask both of them to fight for the only H1B Visa.
Both of them die after fighting.

HCL ECONOMICS
You have 2 cows
You milk them only for 24 hours on just 7 days a week.
They run away.

WIPRO Economics
You have 2 cows
You train them for two months on how to milk
themselves.
Then u ask them to pull bullock carts.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You dont have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for
submarines, Switzerland for loans,Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment.You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years,eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.They are both mad cows.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You don't know where they are.You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the sizeof an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

My Fav. Matrix Poster

Posted By Neo

A Rare White Peacock

Posted By Neo